DIVORCING A NARCISSIST PART 3: Self Care While Divorcing Your Narcissistic Spouse.

This is a series for people who want to divorce their narcissistic spouse.

  • In the first part we discussed some characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder and how that affects your divorce process. If you want to know if you are dealing with a narcissistic spouse check out
  • In the second part we discussed some tips and strategies to successfully navigate your divorce if you are decided to start the process you should check out

If you have already started your divorce process or are near the end of it and have been battling your narcissistic spouse, we know it must be draining! Not only for your bank accounts but also your mental health. It is very important that you take care of yourself while going through a divorce with a narcissistic person because their ultimate goal is to break you down.

Here are some tips to overcoming mental health obstacles while divorcing a narcissist:

  • First, forgive yourself for not seeing who they really were. You can’t recognize what you don’t know. There will be much work for you to do to get a better understanding of what happened and heal after you get through your divorce. Please don’t get stuck on the: “How could I…” or “How did I…” scripts because it will only make it more difficult to become “battle-ready” and that is where you need your focus to be.
  • Protect your digital life. Block them, their family and friends on ALL social media. Change passwords on everything, emails, banks, Amazon, Netflix, etc. Don’t let them gain any access to your game plan and make sure your friends and family also block him. Space and privacy are your best friends right now.
  • Find Support. Get in contact with a great therapist and parenting coach (if you have kids) to create a strategy that will work moving forward. If you have kids, we know things can get complicated really fast! So, be prepared with a parenting plan and STICK TO IT!
  • Set better boundaries. When it comes to your mental health there are NO harsh boundaries. Do what you need to do to keep your cool. Schedule relaxing time, take a meditation/Yoga class, tell your friends to not mention them, remove unhealthy reminders from your house and most importantly GET REAL SPACE between you two; schedule virtual meetings and trust your family or close friends with the drop off when it comes to the kids.

Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Nowhere is that truer than when you’re divorcing a narcissist. If you want to make it to the end, you’ve got to take care of yourself all along the way.

Remember to take care of the basics, getting a good night’s sleep, eating right, and exercising regularly will help you deal with your divorce better. Talking to your therapist and having a solid support group will help you feel less lonely and isolated. Making the time to do the things you love, and to laugh occasionally, will also help make your problems seem a little lighter.

If you are ready to begin the process, we can help you through this.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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