What’s holding you back from asking for the right amount of child support?

One thing that I’ve been noticing a lot in consultations that I’ve been having lately, has been this whole concept of, "I don’t wanna go back to court and ask for the amount of support that actually I’m entitled to for my children, because I’m afraid that my ex or the children’s other parent is gonna ask for more parenting time." I see this come up quite frequently and it’s this whole fear that I shouldn’t get what I’m actually entitled to and more importantly what my children are entitled to because I’m afraid that they may go see their other parent, a little bit more.

Now, I’m not saying that that’s an illogical fear or it’s a fear that you shouldn’t have, but it’s really something you need to sit back and think about, why are you concerned about it? Is it because the children want to see the other parent? Is it because the other parent isn’t as bad as maybe you wanna think they are? Or, are you just creating an excuse for why you’re not going back? Sometimes I see people come in and they’re getting the completely incorrect amount of support. By incorrect, I usually mean very low amounts of support. And they put up with it for years and finally when they have financial issues they’re finally come to the realization that, "I gotta ask for more money." But, you can’t just ask for more money. In family law, there has to be a change in circumstances, something that entitles you to come back to court and seek a re-evaluation of support.

But, really you need to be getting the proper amount of support for your kids. Child support as it currently stands, most people don’t believe is nearly enough money to help raise children, and most people paying it think it’s too much. But you really are doing a disservice to yourself and your kids if you do not get the proper amount of support for them. And this is support that’s going to enable you to buy them the food that they want to eat, the clothes they want to wear. When we get to the winter time, the coats that they need. School supplies that they really want. It’ll allow you to take them on vacations, to allow you to take them out to entertainment vendors. You know, movies, bowling, skating, Six Flags whatever the case is. So be sure that you don’t let your fear of what may potentially, speculatively could happen, get in the way of ensuring that you’re getting the proper level of support for your children.

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About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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