Family law icon suitable for info graphics, websites and print media and  interfaces. Line vector icon. Human face, head, line vector icon.

Joint legal custody is the most common type of legal custody awarded in
New Jersey. Joint legal custody means that both parents share equally
in making big decisions for their children that affect their general welfare.
After a divorce or the end of a relationship, making big parenting decisions
together with your former partner can be challenging, but there are
to help make it as smooth as possible.

The first, and most important, rule about joint custody is to never speak
badly about the other parent in the presence of the child. This is essential
not only to keeping your relationship amicable (or at least workable)
with the other parent, but also to helping your child’s emotional
well-being. Remember that your ex is your child’s parent. You may
not love your ex, but your child does. The importance of encouraging and
fostering your child’s bond with the other parent cannot be understated.

Next, try your best to separate your emotions from your interaction with
the other parent. You may be hurt and angry, but it will not end well
If you display that anger when trying to make big parenting decisions.
Remember that decisions about holiday time division, extra-curricular
activities, or the like are about your child and what will benefit that
child. Try to put aside your negative emotion about the other parent and
focus on what will be best for your child.

Make a commitment to be respectful in your tone and in requests. Instead
of making demands, make suggestions. If you enter a conversation by telling
the other parent what is going to happen instead of suggesting a particular
course of action, it is likely the other parent will get defensive and
the conversation will be unproductive.

If you find that you have trouble communicating effectively, it may be
helpful to use written communication. Using emails or text messages has
the benefit of giving you time to compose your thoughts and express yourself.
It has the added benefit of creating a record of your conversations so
that if you need to refer back to a conversation, you already have it
written down.

Above all, remember that you and the other parent have the exact same goal
in mind – the best interest of the child. You may have different
opinions about what that entails, but both of you simply are trying to
do what’s best.

We have extensive experience in helping our clients with joint legal custody
agreements. Call us today at(732) 479-4711 for an appointment.
about your children and your custody arrangement, and help you create
a realistic plan for your child’s future.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

LinkedIn | State Bar Association | Avvo | Google