Going through a divorce can be extremely difficult. And while a good divorce attorney can help make your life a bit easier, a bad one can make things worse. One of the things you must be careful about is “HEARING EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO HEAR”.

If you’re hearing exactly what you want to hear more often than not, you’re going to end up compromising something you really didn’t want to lose just to get the case settled. If you’re being told, for example: “Don’t worry, you’re absolutely never going to pay alimony.” (When you make twice as much as your spouse.) THAT IS A RED FLAG!

Another example can be: “Your soon-to-be ex-spouse is a piece of #%&@ and this is all their fault, we will squeeze them for all they are worth!” DON’T FALL FOR THAT TRAP! This is especially not true if you have children.

What you need to know is that some attorneys will tell you just what you want to hear at the initial consultation, just because they want you to retain them. They are trying to make a sale. They’re trying to get you to sign and hand over a check. And then later is when you find out, how things really are.

Suddenly they will not work towards what you had originally discussed, or they think you’ll forget about it. Even worse they’ll find some excuse to explain why you are not getting what they originally promised you would get.

So, if you go to an attorney and you leave feeling like you won the lottery, something went wrong! You should probably go see at least two other attorneys and see if they agree. And if the other attorneys don’t agree, they are probably right. IF IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! IT PROBABLY IS!

You deserve to be happy and have the life you want.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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