I Think My Spouse’s Divorce Attorney Is The Problem…What Can I Do?


Divorce is hard. Finding the right divorce attorney for you is equally
hard. However, there are two things you cannot control in your
: the judge assigned to your case and the divorce attorney your spouse
retains. Is there anything you can do about the things you cannot control?

When it comes to the judge assigned to your case, your divorce attorney
will likely be able to tell you tendencies of the judge. This will allow
you to make an assessment on whether you want the judge to make any decisions,
temporary or final, or whether you want to stay as far away as possible
from that judge’s courtroom. You cannot control the judge’s
decision, but you can make informed decisions on how to proceed.

What about when it comes to your spouse’s divorce attorney? In our
practice, there are a list of attorneys that we know will result in increased
litigation costs if they represent our client’s spouse. For some
of these attorneys, it is a matter of simply not having sufficient experience
to handle divorce cases, leading to the taking of unreasonable positions.
For others, they feel they need to bill a certain amount before settling
the case. And for still others, they are experienced but believe their
position is the only correct one, continuously convincing your spouse
to forego a compromise position for the “correct” one.

Dealing with an adversary that is the problem in settling your divorce
can be difficult. First, you need to try to communicate with your spouse
to ensure you both have a desire to find a resolution as quickly, and
inexpensively, as possible. You can have that goal, while still fighting
for the things that you consider most important. Knowing when to compromise
is the most important trait that a divorce attorney should have, but not
all attorneys have that trait.

Second, you need to talk to your attorney about ways to bypass the other
attorney as much as possible. If the adversary is refusing to be reasonable,
you might need to file a motion to get the judge to make some decisions.
You might need to have your attorney essentially ignore the other attorney’s
letters and attempts to inflate the litigation. You might need to get
a very aggressive mediator involved that will have no trouble telling
your spouse that his or her divorce attorney is incorrect.

In general, you have to bypass a problematic divorce attorney. This is
your life. While you need and deserve a good resolution to your marriage,
you cannot and should not spend all of your money on unnecessary litigation.

if you have any questions on how to deal with a difficult divorce adversary.
We pride ourselves on finding cost-efficient resolutions to the most difficult
of divorces. While there may never be a perfect resolution to a marriage,
there can be a good resolution.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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