Divorce By The Campfire: Just A Dream?


As I sit by a campfire on a beautiful late August evening, I cannot help
but ponder how many
could be easily settled in this environment. By the time a divorce has
been filed and the parties have backed into their respective corners,
it is hard to break down the emotional walls that they have erected to
protect themselves from emotional injury. Forgetting that a divorce is
often a business transaction, many use the divorce process to extract
revenge on their cheating spouse or inferior parent.

We find, all too often, that people are not ready to get serious about
a divorce settlement until they feel they have exhausted all of their
negative emotions toward their soon-to-be ex-spouse. Many decide to file
for divorce while the raw emotion of their reason for divorce is front
and center in their mind (i.e., the discovery of an affair or an act of
domestic violence). In not allowing these emotions to subside before thinking
about the serious business of crafting a settlement, many litigants do
themselves, and their children, a great disservice.

As I sit by this campfire, I hear all of the insects and creatures around.
I hear the fire crackling. I see the vast expanse of stars, planets and
galaxies. It is calm and tension around the fire is low. I cannot help
but wonder how many divorce settlements could be reached in this environment.
When litigants get out of their perfect constructed bubbles and allow
themselves to feel free, they are able to see the forest from the trees
and find a way to resolve their dispute without spending all their hard
earned assets on attorneys and the legal system.

We believe that divorce should be approached in a manner that decreases
emotions, not enflames them. You worked hard for your money; you should
not spend it all to get divorced when the outcomes are usually finite
and predictable. Let us guide through the process so that you will feel
that you are sitting around a warm campfire watching the Moon rise above
the trees.

Remember, we will not tell you what you want to hear. We will tell you
what you need to know.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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