ABCS of NJ Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is the process whereby we reach a divorce settlement without involving the court but with the assistance of a neutral third party. It is a process that usually saves you and your spouse thousands of dollars in legal fees and costs. How does it work?

The best approach to divorce mediation is to concentrate on communication between the parties and problem solving. Mediation is not therapy, but rather it is an opportunity to have an open and honest dialogue about the issues you need to resolve in order to get divorced. Your divorce mediator’s job is not to tell you how you should settle, but rather guide you and your spouse to an agreement. Divorce mediation assists you and your spouse work through each issue in a methodical fashion.

The important thing to know about divorce mediation is that it is completely private and confidential. Neither the parties or the mediator can disclose anything that occurred during the mediation process. The purpose of this privacy is to encourage open communication about all the problems that require a solution. This confidentiality is an essential part of the NJ Divorce Mediation process.

The length of the divorce mediation process depends on what issues have been agreed to prior to mediation and what needs to be address. Also, the amount of time spent in mediation is based upon you and your spouse’s willingness to come to an agreement. The time spent in mediation can be reduced if you and your spouse resolve some issues prior to mediation so that the issues are narrowed. However, if you and your spouse are not able to discuss your divorce outside of mediation, it is strongly recommended that you avoid it at all costs. In our experience, divorce mediation requires between 2 and 5 sessions, on average.

In our office, the average divorce mediation costs around $3,000 and takes approximately two months. We have had mediation cases cost only $1,000 and take one mediation session. We have had others take a full year and cost more than $10,000. The number of issues, the information needed, the complexity of the issues and the emotional state of the parties are all factors in the how long divorce mediation takes and, in turn, how much it costs.

Importantly, the cost of litigating your divorce instead of resolving it through mediation can be financially devastating. The average litigated divorce in our office costs approximately $15,000 and takes about 12 months. If your case does not settle, a Trial can cost more than $50,000. No one knows your life and what is important to you like you do. You do not want a judge, who is a stranger to you and your spouse, to make decisions about your life or your children. By going to divorce mediation, you and your spouse have all the power to reach an agreement that you think is fair and reasonable. Also, remember that divorce in the court system is public. Anybody can sit in court and hear about your life. Divorce mediation is confidential, private and conducted behind closed doors. Isn’t that a better why to get divorced?

If you want to start the divorce mediation process, give us a call at 732-529-6937. If you and your spouse are headed for divorce, do not spend all your money on attorneys. Let us help you reach an agreement swiftly and economically.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

LinkedIn | State Bar Association | Avvo | Google