Successful Co-parenting During a Divorce

Co-parenting after a separation or divorce is rarely easy. These shared custody tips can help give your children the stability, security, and close relationships with both parents that they need.

Tip # 1 – Improve communication with your co-parent.

We know FaceTime is a thing and almost all kids have a phone these days. But sometimes just Face Timing “Daddy” is not enough. Make sure when creating your custody agreement, you are allotting enough time for the children to have quality time with both parents. Even if this means you will have to talk more to your ex-spouse.

Tip #2-Set hurt and anger aside.

We know your ex-spouse is not your best friend. But try the old “Fake it till you make it”. Try to avoid arguments near birthdays or important holidays. Swallow your pride and give your children meaningful memories together for as long as you can.

Tip #3 – Aim for consistency not perfection.

No custody agreement will foresee every situation, so eventually you’ll have to be able to resolve and navigate through tough situations. When this happens SHOW RESTRAINT and ask for your co-parent’s opinion. The goal of co-parenting is giving the children a healthy family life.

Tip #4 – Help children anticipate change.

With divorce comes constant change, help them understand these changes by being honest and reassuring them. Avoid moments of uncertainty, keep free communication with the parent that is leaving the house, provide bonding time with each parent and create fun activities to do together.

Tip #5 – If all fails. Know when to ask for help.

There are so many co-parenting gurus and certified therapists out there that can help you navigate through these tough parenting decisions. Make children a priority and SUCK IT UP. Get a great therapist and help your children mitigate the divorce trauma.

Remember this: You are helping your children form memories about their childhood. What do you want them to remember? Focus on that NOW.

You deserve to be happy and be the best parent you can be for your children.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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