As a marriage dissolves, some parents find themselves asking questions like, “Should we stay together for the kids?”

You should be concerned about your children.

However, there are other ways to help your children cope with divorce that don’t include you just staying in an unhappy marriage and being miserable. Ask yourself the following:

What kind of environment am I creating at home with my spouse that could influence my children’s future relationships? Leaving sometimes is the best thing that you can do for them.

  • Are they seeing a loving, happy couple?
  • Are they seeing two people that treat each other with respect, dignity and love?
  • Are they seeing two people that are affectionate with each other?
  • Are they seeing two people that go out together and are social and support each other emotionally?


  • Are they seeing two people that can’t stand each other?
  • Are they seeing two people that disrespect each other?
  • Are they seeing two people that talk nasty to each other?
  • Are they seeing two people that don’t do things together?
  • Maybe they see two people that sleep in separate bedrooms?

Would you want your child to be in a marriage like yours? If not, what are you teaching them?

Your children expect you to model behavior for them. So, when you are teaching them how to have a relationship and how to have a marriage, think about what you’re teaching them. What are you modeling?

If you stay in an unhappy marriage, are they going to grow up and think that that’s just normal? That’s just how marriage is. That’s just how people treat each other.

So, when you start telling yourself the dialog: “Oh, my kids really need their two parents, they need two parents.” Guess what? They’ll still have two parents even when their parents are divorced.

You deserve to be happy and have the life you want.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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