Parenting Time During The COVID-19 Pandemic – Part 3: Don’t let a judge decide your parenting time!

If you are going through a divorce right now, the best tip we can give you is to foresee as many situations as possible and try to agree on them. Remember that you need to put your best parenting foot forward. Think about your children and what would be best for them in the long run. Seek therapy or co-parenting counseling to make better decisions if you have to.

Also remember that your kids didn’t sign up for this. They didn’t marry your spouse. And they’re not the ones that are divorcing your spouse. They are just innocent bystanders in this whole process.

If both of you can agree on parenting time it’s so much better than going into a courtroom and putting these types of issues in front of a judge who doesn’t know you. A judge evaluates hundreds if not thousands of other cases each year. He or she is not going to know nearly as much about you and your kids as you do. Do you really think that’s going to lead to the best result? So the more agreements and issues that can be resolved between two co-parents, the better.

Judges also will not decide minute issues that may be important to you. For instance, some people may like to have provisions about Face Time or phone access during parenting time, or special dietary concerns, or other issues that are really a parenting preference and not necessary appropriate topic for a judge to include in an order. Once you move your dispute into the court and ask the judge to decide, it’s largely out of your hands. Why give up your power and control? Make reasonable concessions in your settlement discussions so that you can be sure to address the other issues that are important to you but may not be important to the judge. This is why we highly recommend mediation.

If you want more information about how this would apply to your case, or if mediation is a good fit for you, you can schedule a Client Vision Meeting

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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