young girl talking on the phone with happy expression isolated on a white background

Co-parenting is difficult. Helping a child while shifting between two households is tricky. Common pitfalls and disagreements mean that even parents who typically have an amicable relationship can go through rough patches. During times of discord, it is important to make sure you keep the lines of communication open with your child to keep him or her feeling comfortable.

Phone calls and text messages is the most common way to keep communication going even when your child is at the other parent’s house. If it is age appropriate for your child to have a cell phone, you and your child can exchange communication even if you are not physically together. However, there are some common pitfalls with this tactic. It is essential that the contact not become intrusive on the other parent’s time. Constant texts and calls from you are disruptive, and will not be looked upon favorably by a judge. If your child is not yet old enough for his or her own phone, calling the other parent to talk to the child can be an option. Again, though, it is important to use discretion and not call too much.

If you are attempting to contact your child at reasonable intervals and the other parent is refusing to let you communicate, it may be possible or even necessary to ask the court to set up specific times and days for phone calls. Even if the other parent is not blocking your attempts to communicate, pre-arranging specific times for contact can help avoid misunderstandings and conflict.

When communicating with your child, remember that it is best to talk about the child and keep the conversation positive. Quizzing the child about the other parent’s activities or trying to make the child feel guilty for having fun at the other parent’s house are inappropriate and could negatively impact your custody or visitation case.

If you have questions about keeping in contact with your child during a custody battle, call us today for an appointment at (732) 479-4711 We will talk about your child and your options.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

LinkedIn | State Bar Association | Avvo | Google