Divorce Mediation: The Best Solution to Your Divorce Problem

Anyone who frequents our , , , or webinars knows that our firm promotes mediation as the best way to resolve divorce and family law problems. It is a place where you take all of the power into your own hands. You should not depend on a judge, who is a stranger to your life, to make decisions impacting your children, your home, and your money. You and your spouse are always the best people to make those decisions, regardless of how difficult reaching an agreement can be.

What is Divorce Mediation?

It is a process where you and your spouse use a neutral third party to help facilitate a settlement. The mediator is typically a specially trained divorce attorney who helps people resolve conflict and reach an agreement. The mediator does not work for you or your spouse. His or her sole goal is to help you achieve a resolution that both spouses find fair and reasonable.

Where is Divorce Mediation Conducted?

In regular times, you would go to a private attorney’s office for mediation. We use two conference rooms so that each party can have privacy in both their contemplation of the settlement and for discussions with the mediator. These days, however, mediation is conducted over video conferencing. We use zoom for our mediation sessions, as you can do breakout rooms, which allows the mediator to spend time speaking to each party privately.

Do you need an attorney?

No. Divorce mediation does not require you to have an attorney with you at the mediation sessions. One purpose of mediation is to reduce the cost of the divorce. However, we recommend that you have a consultation with an attorney before the first mediation session. Therefore, you will understand your rights and responsibilities and, in turn, be better prepared to resolve the case at mediation. You can certainly bring an attorney with you to mediation. Still, your spouse needs to know that in advance so that he or she can decide whether he or she wants an attorney too. Upon concluding mediation with an agreement, you can and should have an attorney review that agreement with you.

What happens at mediation?

We begin by going over the “ground rules” with both parties and reviewing necessary information about the parties, such as income, number, and ages of children and what assets and debt exist. Then, we divide and conquer. We will take one spouse to the other conference room or place them on mute in a separate breakout room on Zoom. We will move back and forth between the parties, helping both sides understand the strengths and weaknesses of their positions. The key is determining the goals of each spouse. We do not have to get the “law” involved in mediation, as achieving your goals is the most crucial consideration.

Is mediation private?

Yes. Everything that happens at mediation is entirely confidential. Not only does the mediator have private conversations with each spouse, but the mediator can never disclose to the court what you or your spouse said during a mediation session. You should feel very comfortable that you can open and honest during mediation.

What happens when we reach an agreement?

After you and your spouse reach a full agreement, we will prepare either a Memorandum of Understanding or a comprehensive settlement agreement. With a memorandum, you will have to hire an attorney to draft a settlement agreement. If we prepare the actual settlement agreement, then you are done subject to only having an attorney review the document.

Sounds easy, right? Divorce mediation is the best solution for your divorce problem. Want more information? .

If you are ready to start mediation, call our office or to schedule a free video or phone consultation.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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