Different Ways to Get Divorced

Is there one way to get divorced? Absolutely not. Most attorneys sell a “one size fits all” solution to anyone that needs to divorce their spouse. That is a serious disservice to the client. Divorce should be tailored to the specific needs of the client and their family. So, what are the paths you can take to get divorced?

You can go the traditional litigation route and file a complaint for divorce with the court. The benefit is that the marriage, for most purposes, is over. However, you have entered the court system. Once you are in the court system, you must follow those rules, including mandatory filing of documents and court appearances. These cost money and time. However, if your spouse refuses to engage in reasonable settlement dialogue or if there is a serious issue that must be addressed by a judge, you may not have a choice but to take this route. In most cases, it really should not be your first option.

You can go the modified litigation route. In our office, we try to settle cases prior to anything being filed with the court. If you can stay out of traditional litigation, you will likely save thousands in counsel fees. This route has us trying to settle the case without ever stepping foot in a courtroom, except for the day you are divorced. A settlement proposal can be sent to your spouse, with or without some limited exchange of information. The benefit financially cannot be overstated, although it does require two parties that want to settle.

You can go the mediation route. In this solution, you and your spouse agree to go mediation, either with or without attorneys, to find a resolution to your divorce. Mediators are trained to find ways to bridge gaps in the positions of the parties and find something that both parties will find acceptable.

You can go the arbitration route. This is where you and your spouse agree to have a formal process where you present your dispute to an attorney or retired judge who will make a binding decision on all your issues. You get to set the ground rules and often get a speedy resolution, but you have to pay the arbitrator to conduct the proceedings, which can get costly.

Finally, you can go the consulting route. This is where you work out a settlement with your spouse largely without an attorney. However, you can use us to give you valuable advice in your discussions with your spouse. At some point, you might need an attorney to draft legal documents to get you divorced, but you can do most of the negotiation on your own and save on legal fees.

Therefore, do not let anyone tell you that there is only one way to get divorced. We do not tell people what they want to hear; we tell them what they need to know. Finding a personalized solution to a person’s divorce or family law problem is what gets us up in the morning. Want to have our legal team find a solution for your problems so that you can Find Your Freedom? Call us at 732-529-6937 to schedule a consultation.

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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