Do you know what’s in most custody agreements? Do you know how to define custody?

If you don’t know and you have an agreement that seems ready to sign the best thing to do is to NOT SIGN IT. At least not yet.

Let us set the stage here.

People who are getting a divorce are under a certain pressure to settle. Pressure comes from a variety of sources:

  • Exhaustion
  • Financial realities
  • Attorney pressure
  • Court pressure

So, you’ve be sent to mediation and the mediator’s job is to make a deal to settle the case. And if we are being really honest, judges also prefer that a case settle so they can get if off their docket. Basically, there’s tremendous pressure from all directions.

We often see people sitting out in the hallway at the courthouse who are kept out there on purpose, so that they are so exhausted they just settle to get it over with. For these reasons, sometimes people don’t think things through, or nobody takes the time to consciously read and understand their agreement.

This is sometimes the attorney’s fault (usually inexperienced, bad, or over tired attorneys). When divorces drag too long or have been very complicated, it’s not just the parties that get exhausted. The attorneys are as exhausted as you are, so they’ll rush their explanation just to get you to sign. This is when choosing a right attorney and focusing on mediation can avoid this rushed feeling.

There are certain ingredients, certain preliminary questions, and certain concepts the people need to understand before signing an agreement. You cannot sign your agreement with a “GET ME OUT OF HERE” mentality because buyer’s remorse is just around the corner, especially if you didn’t understand 100% of what is in that document.

If you want to have a great team of attorneys that will NEVER let you sign an agreement out of exhaustion,

About the Author


John Nachlinger is a co-founder and managing attorney of Netsquire, a family law firm focused on streamlining divorces through effective mediation, settlement drafting, and court filing assistance. As a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and Qualified Mediator, John guides couples toward equitable agreements without the cost and stress of litigation.

Recognized as a New Jersey Super Lawyer for over a decade, John’s client-focused approach aims to foster understanding during challenging transitions. With a background spanning top law journals, judicial clerkships, and boutique family law firms, John now applies his analytical skills to create workable solutions for all parties. His mediation services reshape the divorce journey by prioritizing compassion and compromise.

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