Divorce is an emotional and difficult time, even for the most uncontested
of cases. Upheaval and chaos typically accompany any divorce or separation, making
the emotionally distressing time even more convoluted. Because of this, it is easy to let the process
get overwhelming and make mistakes. There are some common slip-ups to
avoid to help you through this time.
First, get an attorney. Even if you and your spouse have agreed on most
or even all of the issues in your divorce, an experienced divorce lawyer
will facilitate the process immensely. An attorney understands the process
and the potential issues, and can help you get the process done correctly
the first time through. Without an attorney, it is common for parties
to misunderstand which papers to file when, what must be included in any
agreement, how to calculate child support, or myriad other problems. An
attorney will be able to solve these issues for you.
Next, do not make big decisions when you are angry. It is easy to get upset
and blow up at a partner. When you are fighting is not the time to make
the snap decision to “take him for every penny he has” or
to try to get full custody. These decisions need to be made when you are
calm and thinking about the future, not thinking about how hurt you are
or angry at your spouse.
Third, before agreeing to any financial divisions, you need to have a complete
picture of the entire marital estate. This means you and your spouse both
need to have access to bank accounts, retirement accounts, credit card
statements, and the like. If you make decisions about dividing your assets
and debts without having a comprehensive knowledge of all there is to
be divided, you could be making a huge financial mistake. You also need
access to the other party’s income to determine alimony and child
support which should be in the form of income tax returns and recent pay stubs.
Finally, remember that divorce does not help you to “win” or
“get even.” Holding on to those feelings of anger or resentment
all through the divorce process will cloud your judgment and make it difficult
for you to negotiate with a clear head. You need to keep your thoughts
on the future and try to see past the divorce. Shift your focus from the
anger and hurt to problem solving and making sure your needs are met in
the years to come.
If you are considering filing a divorce, contact us today at (732) 479-4711
We are well acquainted with the common mistakes made in divorces and
will help you to avoid them.